


Life's short

by arewecoolvincent



Category: Last Tango In Halifax
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23769055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arewecoolvincent/pseuds/arewecoolvincent
Summary: Gillian comforts Caroline when her date with Ruth goes wrong.
Relationships: Gillian Greenwood/Caroline McKenzie-Dawson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	Life's short

**Author's Note:**

> Gillian flirting with Caroline will be the death of me. I had a bad feeling about Ruth's character as soon as I saw her, and turns out I was right to think that. I feel bad for Caroline tbh. The dialogue between Caroline and Ruth is taken from 5X02! So Kudos to the talented Sally Wainwright for that ;)
> 
> I have a new work started and I'm hoping to make it a multi chapter work :)

“You should go for it. You’re very attractive, even if she is 15 years younger.” Caroline felt the goosebumps rise on her skin as Gillian pressed her palms into her arms. “She should be so lucky.” Gillian’s face was inching closer to hers. “Seriously.” Gillian removed her arms and her gaze dropped to Caroline’s lips. “Life’s short.” Gillian walks off but she continues talking, “You deserve something nice. You’re a nice person.” Caroline turns her head and looks at Gillian with a small smile. Their friendship had blossomed over the 7 years they had known each other. Caroline held Gillian’s greatest secret and promised to never tell. They would seek each other out if they’d had a shit day. Flora loved her Aunt Gillian and it gave Caroline a reason to visit the farm. She spent more time at the farm then she did at her own home in Huddersfield.  Caroline was nervous about her dinner with Ruth but she had to get into the mindset that it was work related and not personal. Yes, Ruth is attractive but it’s time that Caroline admitted to herself that she found Gillian attractive. She had been denying it for a while, she may have dropped some hints and she hopes that Gillian hadn’t picked up on them. She had a feeling in the back of her mind that Gillian had picked up on them. Thinking about it, Gillian had been dropping more compliments and helping out more,  _ oh shit, _ Gillian’s been flirting with her this whole time and Caroline’s only just caught on.  _ Oh shit,  _ Gillian feels the same. Caroline watched Gillian at the sink and she knew she couldn’t stare for too long. They had fallen into a routine when they had dinner with each other, one would clear the table, and the other would wash up. If anyone was looking in with no context, they would assume that Caroline and Gillian are a couple.  Raff and Ellie had disappeared upstairs with Calamity. Flora was asleep on the sofa with a blanket placed over her. Ruth was asleep on the floor guarding Flora. Caroline and Gillian were still pottering about in the kitchen in silence. “I should probably go soon.” Caroline placed the tea towel on the side and flicked her gaze into the living room. “Yeah alright. You’ll let me know how it goes? Or I could be your wing-woman?” Gillian smirks as Caroline stuck two fingers up at her. “Actually there is something you could help me with…” Caroline cuts herself short. “so, what is it? Caroline? Are you okay?” Gillian rests her hand on Caroline’s arm. “Oh god, I cannot believe I’m saying this but I need your help with this thing with Ruth.” Caroline pulled away from Gillian’s touch.

“I can’t do this Gillian.” She avoids eye contact. 

“What do you mean?” Gillian is starting to get worried, Caroline’s never been like this before when they’ve touched. 

“I know Ruth isn’t gay. It’s stupid that I have feelings for her but I still need to do this as we’re preparing for the event with Judith.” 

“Caroline, it’s okay. I know it’s hard. I’ve been in the same position myself. Please don’t shut me out. I will help you, if you want me too.” 

“I need you to create a distraction, if I get uncomfortable, I’ll excuse myself to the bathroom, text you and you will ring me. You’ll have to make something up or just encourage me on.” 

“What will our code word be?” Gillian was smiling.

“Oh shit.” 

“What now?”

“Nothing you twat. Oh shit is the code words.”

“Shit, I’m so stupid.” Gillian laughed at her own stupidity and Caroline cracked a small smile. 

“Right, I am leaving now. Panic over.” Caroline kisses Gillian on the cheek and wanders into the living room to wake up Flora. Gillian waves Caroline off and heads straight to bed. Today’s been an exhausting day, physically and emotionally.

======================================================================

Date night.

  
  


_ “I’m going to be nosey.” _

“Hmm.” Caroline was bracing herself for the worst. 

_ “How does Flora fit into…? Because she’s not John’s.”  _ they burst out laughing.

“No. Oh, God, no.” they both calmed down slightly as Caroline spoke.

_ “So you had a fling with…?” _

Internal panic mode activated, Caroline was freaking out but she didn’t want to text Gillian just yet, “Well, no. No I didn’t. Erm… No. Flora’s, erm… Well I kind of did. So after John went off with her, I, erm.” Ruth sipped her wine as she waited for Caroline to carry on. 

Caroline sighed. “I got married again.” 

Ruth looked a little shocked but she managed to speak,  _ “OK. to who?” _

“To Kate. and..er.. That’s Kate.” Caroline could feel the judgement from Ruth already but she managed to smile anyway. She looks at the photo standing on the stone wall. She moves over to it and picks it up. Ruth huffs and places her wine glass down on the table.

“Kate wanted a baby, so we got pregnant. Well, she did.” Caroline hands the photo to Ruth who takes it and studies it. Caroline is now sitting next to Ruth. “And then she was knocked down and killed. She was pregnant - eight and a half months. They managed to save Flora, but not her. It happened the day after we got married.” Ruth shakes her head, but Caroline keeps on talking, “We got married on the Saturday. That happened on the Sunday.”

_ “No…” Ruth shakes her head.  _ “Five years ago.” Caroline breaks the silence. 

_ “So you’re…?”  _ Ruth looks at Caroline, her look is judgemental.  _ “I didn’t realise that you were....”  _ She couldn’t even say the word, it was like poison on her tongue.

“Bereaved?” Caroline has got the wrong end of the stick.

_ “Gay.”  _ She hands the photo back to Caroline as she’s become extremely uncomfortable.

“Oh.” Caroline takes the photo from her hand and looks down at her lap. “Oh, well, no!” Caroline shakes her head while looking at the photo of herself and Kate. “Neither did I,but, er… Well, I did, I didn’t advertise it, particularly, but I’ve never hidden it either. If I was with someone, it would be more obvious.” She feels Ruth turn away from her. “But I’m not now, so… sorry, I thought you…” Ruth shakes her head as she cannot fathom words. “Did know.”

Ruth raises her eyebrows at that statement.  _ “Wow. Gosh.”  _ Her gaze flicks up to Caroline and then she looks away again.  _ “That is a tragic thing to have happened.”  _ Caroline agrees.  _ “I’m sorry. Listen, I’m not feeling too good.”  _ They avoid eye contact as Caroline can feel the tears in her eyes, “OK.” “ _ I think I’ve drunk too much. I..I have drunk too much. _ ” She quickly looks at Caroline who is still gripping the photo. She gets up and says  _ “I might go to bed.”  _ Caroline shifts and places the photo on the sofa next to her, “Sure.” She rises as she speaks, “It’s..erm..it’s just at the top of the stairs, far end.” Caroline moves away from the sofa and leaves a clear path for Ruth to escape. They look at each other awkwardly, “Would you like some water?” Caroline’s hostess skills kick in, despite how horrified she feels.  _ “No.”  _ Ruth avoids eye contact again.  _ “Actually, why don’t I ring for a taxi?”  _ they’ve reached a stalemate. “Oh, you don’t have to.”  _ “No, but…”  _ she looks down at the things in her hands as Caroline counters her argument, “Saturday night, you’d be lucky to get one if you. Well, if it hasn’t been booked.” 

_ “I had no idea.” _ She looks up at Caroline.  “Is it a problem?”  _ “No!God, no. Why would it be?” She shrugs and pulls a face. “No, just..”  _ “I just thought you knew.” fucking shit, I knew I should’ve used the code word, Caroline wants to throw herself into the fire.  _ “No.”  _ her tone was sharp. “It’s not why I invited you here.” Caroline officially hates herself for getting herself in this shitty position.  _ “Is that why you thought I wanted to come here? You thought that I’m…?”  _ Caroline’s armour has been put back on, “No! No! Why don’t I make us some coffee?” she needed an escape as she could feel her anger bubbling. Caroline leaves the room and leaves Ruth standing there with her back to the fire. Caroline rests her hands on the sink and takes a deep breath. 

Caroline is asleep with her arm flung over the dog. There is a banging sound, the dog barks and darts off the bed which rouses Caroline from her slumber. She rests her hand on her forehead as she groans. The door slams, Caroline leaves her bedroom, looks out the window at the top of the stairs and sees Ruth leaving. “Shit.” she says to herself as she watches Ruth reverse out her drive. She shuffles down the stairs and looks for her phone. She finds it stuck between two sofa cushions. She immediately rings Gillian who answers straight away.

“Caz?” she hears Caroline sob. “Right, you better be dressed. I’m coming to you. Pop kettle on, I’ll see you in twenty.” Gillian hangs up and Caroline sits there for a while. She eventually heads into the kitchen, boils the kettle and makes the tea. She hears a key turning in the lock and she freezes, she doesn’t know what to say to Gillian. “Caroline?” Gillian pushes the front door shut, kicks off her trainers and heads towards the kitchen. She just about makes it into the doorway when she feels Caroline’s arms wrap around her. She immediately hugs back and whispers sweet things into her ear. They stand like this for a few minutes until Caroline is calm. Gillian guides Caroline to a chair at the table. She sits next to Caroline. “Is that bitch still here?” Gillian is pissed off as she drinks her tea. Caroline shakes her head and stares into her mug. When she speaks her voice is a whisper, “She looked so disgusted when she realised… she thought I had just invited her over here to sleep with her, which was never my intention.” 

“Enough about ‘er, I ‘ave a confession to make and I know this is shitty timing, as is everything with me, but I cannot take this anymore.” Gillian places her mug down the table. “Caroline, will you look at me?” her voice is soft, and Caroline has never heard Gillian speak like that. Ever. Caroline looks at Gillian. Gillian’s eyes are a soft blue shade which is warm and inviting. “I’m bound to fuck this up. But there’s no point pretending anymore. Caroline, I am in love with you. I ‘ave been for awhile and seeing you getting your ‘eart broken makes me want to protect you from evil cows like Ruth. Now, I know, I’m throwing caution to the wind and all that bollocks, and it’s alright if you don’t feel the same but please don’t hate me for the way I feel. It makes everything extremely fucking complicated and I can’t bear losing you. You’re the only important thing I have left at this point.”  Caroline’s gaze softens. “Oh, Gillian, I am in love with you too. I have been for a while. I thought you wouldn’t feel the same. Of course it makes things complicated but we can work through it if you want to act on your feelings. We can be discreet. This thing with Ruth made me realise that I don’t need anyone else, even if I tried.”  Gillian smiles, “I think Ellie noticed me staring at you a few times and she would just smile, as if she could read my brain. I’ve tried being discreet but I can’t do it anymore. I wanted to kiss you the other day after our birthday dinner when it was just us in the kitchen, but I were scared that you’d push me away and I’d embarrass myself.”  “I would’ve kissed you back. You wouldn’t have embarrassed yourself but thinking about it now, we might have started and not been able to stop.” Caroline spots the twinkle in Gillian’s eye as she laughs.  “I think we can agree that I’m a three compared to you. You’re a fucking 10, no fuck that, you’re off the charts. Caz, you’re fucking stunning and I’m just a brain-dead ugly farmer who has a shitty reputation.”  Caroline frowns, “I find you attractive. I have since we first met.” Caroline watched Gillian’s expression change. Gillian was clearly caught off-guard by her comment.  “I’m trying to control myself here. I really want to bloody snog you. But we need to talk about this first.”  “You know, the talking can wait.” Caroline smirks and she feels so much happier than she did before Gillian arrived. She seems to have that effect on her quite a bit recently. Gillian gets up and sits on Caroline’s lap. There isn’t enough room to straddle her so she perches on her thighs like Flora would and her legs dangle over the edge. She wraps her arms around Caroline’s neck. Her forehead rests on Caroline’s. “So are you going to kiss me?” Caroline watches Gillian’s eyes flick to her lips. “If you keep asking-” Gillian is cut off by Caroline kissing her softly at first but the passion builds rapidly. They pull back breathless. “If I had known that you kiss like that, I would’ve kissed you sooner.” Caroline laughs as Gillian unwraps herself from Caroline. “So we’re doing this then?” Gillian nervously stands next to Caroline. Her voice shakes slightly as she talks. “Yes we are. I love you, Gillian.” “I love you too Caroline. I am so glad we’re okay. We need to take this slow though. I haven’t been with a woman since I were a teenager.”  “Say that again?” “what? Oh, I haven’t been with a woman since I were a teenager.” Caroline was slightly shook by what Gillian had kept secret from her. 

“Yes, I’m surprised you didn’t pick up on it. I wear far too much plaid to be straight.” 


End file.
